Upon waking this morning, i made sure to repeat the nights' dream to myself so as to not forget.
Amazingly, i still remember some of it.
In the dream i'm telling myself that i want to go to a bar after work. I even have one in mind
that does exist here in albuquerque. Anywho, i guess it's after work and i'm trying to get to this place, but the weird thing is that the city is a mix of los angeles and abq, with the buildings and the streets. As I'm walking to this bar, the place seems more like l.a. in that there are lots of people sitting outside of other bar places. All of these people were smoking cigs, which bothered me in the dream because i quit in real life. So throughout this dream i am being tempted to smoke a fucking cigarrette. I don't remember if i ever get to that bar, i just remember that i really wanted to go.
The previous night i also dreamt.
In this dream what i remember is that I, along with two other people, was chosen to be a part of this comic/art training, which seemed to be a big deal. Like it was an honor to be chosen or something. So i was super excited because i was going to learn things and possibly get some exposure. I guess we had to share some of our work so the blond sort-of-exotic girl goes first. She reads a poem she wrote. I was very shocked once i heard her stuff, to be in this group. I thought to myself, 'Is this a joke?" You see the poem was really nothing special. The only thing that was of note was her accent. I couldn't place it but it was very different. Anywho, after i heard her stuff i didn't know what to think of the honor of being chosen. We all had little notebooks and stuff and we had one dude who was the teacher dude, i guess. It almost seemed like a reality show. I never got to read my stuff. I did think about showing all the art things i've made though....the end.
maybe i watch too much reality t.v. maybe i want some recognition.....maybe i want to do stand up....who knows? i think this not smoking cigs thing might be getting to me. i'm glad it's thursday and that the week is almost over. i really really really want to get shit-faced....when will i drink again? who knows. anywho....that smoking dream really rattled me. blargh....should i just go smoke? i have some in the car...no rachel...NO. okay, got that out of my system.
))<>((
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Monday, December 1, 2008
the 1st day of the last month of the year
the first day of the last month of the year
is here, today...only.
once we get past this day,
all subsequent days will slide rapidly towards
the end...the final collision.
the days will be like a pile of gelatinous goo,
sliding off each other, with no where to go,
until that last day of the year,
when we can drink them all away
with justifications and good intentions
for the following sets of
wasted days.
more gunk for the soul.
+++++++++++
this is the first year that i went out shopping on black friday.
what an appropriate name, by the way. it's a day that we will kill
for savings. but anywho, i went to kmart (to buy my mom a decorative
x-mas tree thingy) then i went to Mecca record and bookstore. They
were having a 30% off everything used. So i ended up getting many
books, a few records, and three cds. although i have practically all
of Pavement on my laptop, i bought the Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain CD.
I don't know how to explain my love for Pavement (especially Stephen
Malkmus). For the most part 99%, their music makes no sense, but i
like it not making sense. It makes emotional sense.
anywho, i was looking up the lyrics to Stop Breathing, because it's
my favorite song on the cd so far...i love love love it. his voice...
ummm...the end. anywho, i came upon a website that i hadn't visited in
many years. the last time i was there i was looking up some belle and
sebastian stuff in college. i feel old, but back to the point. this website
is called http://www.songmeanings.net . After I looked up the song
Stop Breathing, i moved on to Carrot Rope.
i love reading the comments, the possible meanings that these songs could
have, according to the people contributing their 2 cents.
Below is the comment left by some foolio for the Carrot Rope song.
I love his analysis:
"Benny-X 03-12-2003
It's about getting high. Marijuana, you know? Now I know you're thinking I'm just a stoner but bear with me here. Now let's examine the title first. Carrot Rope. Now imagine a joint, if you will. The way the paper is rolled might just make it look somewhat like a rope. And if you've ever looked at a carrot closely, you will see ridges going around the outside of it, much like the ridges of a joint. I also neglected to mention the fact that the actual color of burning marijuana and paper, orange, is indeed the same color as that of a carrot. Secondly, let us look at the lyrics. "Carrot rope, feed my thrill, I got beat by weather." This could very easily be about the writers use of drugs, namely marijuana, to step away from his problems. He is "beat by weather" (not feelin' so hot) and so he relies on marijuana (the carrot rope) to feed his thrill. Some more proof, you say? Well how about when it says "It's my second hand wonder, a thing that recovers the doubt." Again, illustrating the writers reliance on marijuana to make him feel better about life and himself. Just a few lines later in the song, "It's of my design assembled at the cut." Now I could be pushing it a bit here, but you could refer to the amount of marijuana used as the "cut." The writer's high is adjusted depending on the amount he uses. This is a little shakey though. "It's alright to shake, to fight, to feel," followed by "you go down, down, down, down." The first line could mean one of two things if the song is actually about marijuana. One, it could be one opinion the writer has about drugs, that it's alright to use them, "feel" them. Of course, it could be the exact opposite. Saying that it's alright to experience life as it is and drugs are unnecissary. The second line, "you go down, down, down, down," well that's a bit obvious. The last few lines now. There is talk of this "wicket keeper" and how he is seemingly "down" and how "he gets me off of the grounds." I understood the wicket keeper to be a metaphor for the Malkmus' conscience. A conscience to tell you what to do, controling your life through morals and judgement, you know who I'm talking about? Well, he's gone or "down" once you've started on the carrot rope, right? In a sense, it gets you "off of the grounds." Pretty persuasive if I might say so myself. And if you still think I'm just a stoner, I'd like to point out that most of the other people who have commented here are perverts. That's right, talking about masturbation, pedafilia, bondage, public nudity and the such. For shame. To tell you the truth though, I'm not actually that sure. I just thought it made a bit of sense. I have no explination for the "Christian lie" part of the song. Nor do I know what the bomb the writer is going to drop on someone is. But come on now. Carrot rope. Looks like a joint, huh? "
Halfway through that analysis, i wish i was stoned. anywho, that is the greatness of the internetz,
anyone can say anything. so in conclusion, visit this website and read about your favorite songs.
do you think a song is written about you? say so, on this website. i think i'm going to go back to looking for some ridiculous shit.
ps. i feel like crap. my tooth is causing me pain. i couldn't sleep last night. i just kept moving around the bed...moaning and shit. my poor dog was the victim of my ceaseless movements. i finally fell back asleep at 5 am...only to wake up an hour later. tommorow i go to the dentist, finally. i know those bastards are only going to take x-rays. i am of the belief that they should pull this fuckin' tooth out.
when i was younger i used to think, hey, maybe i should just have dentures then i won't have to take care of my teeth, or get cavities. now i'm scared because my teeth are pretty much really fucked up and i wouldn't be surprised if they said i need dentures. the end.
i'll update later is i feel even more miserable or better.
))<>((
is here, today...only.
once we get past this day,
all subsequent days will slide rapidly towards
the end...the final collision.
the days will be like a pile of gelatinous goo,
sliding off each other, with no where to go,
until that last day of the year,
when we can drink them all away
with justifications and good intentions
for the following sets of
wasted days.
more gunk for the soul.
+++++++++++
this is the first year that i went out shopping on black friday.
what an appropriate name, by the way. it's a day that we will kill
for savings. but anywho, i went to kmart (to buy my mom a decorative
x-mas tree thingy) then i went to Mecca record and bookstore. They
were having a 30% off everything used. So i ended up getting many
books, a few records, and three cds. although i have practically all
of Pavement on my laptop, i bought the Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain CD.
I don't know how to explain my love for Pavement (especially Stephen
Malkmus). For the most part 99%, their music makes no sense, but i
like it not making sense. It makes emotional sense.
anywho, i was looking up the lyrics to Stop Breathing, because it's
my favorite song on the cd so far...i love love love it. his voice...
ummm...the end. anywho, i came upon a website that i hadn't visited in
many years. the last time i was there i was looking up some belle and
sebastian stuff in college. i feel old, but back to the point. this website
is called http://www.songmeanings.net . After I looked up the song
Stop Breathing, i moved on to Carrot Rope.
i love reading the comments, the possible meanings that these songs could
have, according to the people contributing their 2 cents.
Below is the comment left by some foolio for the Carrot Rope song.
I love his analysis:
"Benny-X 03-12-2003
It's about getting high. Marijuana, you know? Now I know you're thinking I'm just a stoner but bear with me here. Now let's examine the title first. Carrot Rope. Now imagine a joint, if you will. The way the paper is rolled might just make it look somewhat like a rope. And if you've ever looked at a carrot closely, you will see ridges going around the outside of it, much like the ridges of a joint. I also neglected to mention the fact that the actual color of burning marijuana and paper, orange, is indeed the same color as that of a carrot. Secondly, let us look at the lyrics. "Carrot rope, feed my thrill, I got beat by weather." This could very easily be about the writers use of drugs, namely marijuana, to step away from his problems. He is "beat by weather" (not feelin' so hot) and so he relies on marijuana (the carrot rope) to feed his thrill. Some more proof, you say? Well how about when it says "It's my second hand wonder, a thing that recovers the doubt." Again, illustrating the writers reliance on marijuana to make him feel better about life and himself. Just a few lines later in the song, "It's of my design assembled at the cut." Now I could be pushing it a bit here, but you could refer to the amount of marijuana used as the "cut." The writer's high is adjusted depending on the amount he uses. This is a little shakey though. "It's alright to shake, to fight, to feel," followed by "you go down, down, down, down." The first line could mean one of two things if the song is actually about marijuana. One, it could be one opinion the writer has about drugs, that it's alright to use them, "feel" them. Of course, it could be the exact opposite. Saying that it's alright to experience life as it is and drugs are unnecissary. The second line, "you go down, down, down, down," well that's a bit obvious. The last few lines now. There is talk of this "wicket keeper" and how he is seemingly "down" and how "he gets me off of the grounds." I understood the wicket keeper to be a metaphor for the Malkmus' conscience. A conscience to tell you what to do, controling your life through morals and judgement, you know who I'm talking about? Well, he's gone or "down" once you've started on the carrot rope, right? In a sense, it gets you "off of the grounds." Pretty persuasive if I might say so myself. And if you still think I'm just a stoner, I'd like to point out that most of the other people who have commented here are perverts. That's right, talking about masturbation, pedafilia, bondage, public nudity and the such. For shame. To tell you the truth though, I'm not actually that sure. I just thought it made a bit of sense. I have no explination for the "Christian lie" part of the song. Nor do I know what the bomb the writer is going to drop on someone is. But come on now. Carrot rope. Looks like a joint, huh? "
Halfway through that analysis, i wish i was stoned. anywho, that is the greatness of the internetz,
anyone can say anything. so in conclusion, visit this website and read about your favorite songs.
do you think a song is written about you? say so, on this website. i think i'm going to go back to looking for some ridiculous shit.
ps. i feel like crap. my tooth is causing me pain. i couldn't sleep last night. i just kept moving around the bed...moaning and shit. my poor dog was the victim of my ceaseless movements. i finally fell back asleep at 5 am...only to wake up an hour later. tommorow i go to the dentist, finally. i know those bastards are only going to take x-rays. i am of the belief that they should pull this fuckin' tooth out.
when i was younger i used to think, hey, maybe i should just have dentures then i won't have to take care of my teeth, or get cavities. now i'm scared because my teeth are pretty much really fucked up and i wouldn't be surprised if they said i need dentures. the end.
i'll update later is i feel even more miserable or better.
))<>((
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