blakheick

so now i'm confused about chad. i blame it on a dream i had two nights ago. i dreamed that his ex was hanging with us and they were in each others grills. i think i felt jealous. does this mean anything? even though i try to talk to other dudes i think it bothers me to know that he's doing the same thing with girls. WTF...i know, i'm being retarded. okay bye...time to make my egg salad sandwich for breakfast.

more on this later. i need to grow a pair....

things that make you go hmmmmm?

okay, so the thing about making plans is that they never work out the way you thought they would. about the movie, now i'm not sure. chad want's me to pick him up after work. i get out at 3. the movie starts at 3:30. problemo-mucho? maybe.

anywhozle...i think i ate too much. too many grams of fat, not enough protein, and if i go and have drinks that'll only mean more carbs. but....i said i'd be good today so i should be able to get home at a relatively decent hour and exercise...right? i hope so.

i feel like such a cuckoo when i go to the coffee shop razzled and i talk alot to the person ringing me up. today i was asking abuot healthier options and then asking for no mayo...and a side salad. i fucked up when i said blue cheese dressing though. those little fuckers (fatty dressings) can ruin things quick. i'm glad i closed the dressing. i'm going to put in the fridge upstairs so that i'll have something for salad next week, if i want it. man....35 more minutes...then freedom. i need to do some work and chop some logs before i go out into the world.

me sooo hungry

i think i'm going to eat my lunch right now....my stomach is needing food. blargh. i guess i'll eat my snacks for lunch. i had a burger yesterday at lunch. it was good and it wasn't. the salt was good....okay it was good. it better be good for 690 calories...crazy.
i don't know why i'm craving all this bad food but it needs to stop.

i totes forgot but tomorrow i'm going to check out the river race w/chad. how fun. maybe we can have some early morning beers and some razzle...or just some lunch and chilling...who knows....bye

TGIMTF. the post of "Y'ALLS"

thank goodness it's mother truckin' friday

y'alls...

i feel crazy urges...like wanting to do things. after work i'm going to watch a movie called The Glass House about women in Tehran...looks excellent. i know i'm going to cry...then it's off to therapy from 6-7pm...then i want to go to the Blackbird Buvette. so i talked to some dude on okcupid a while ago and he said he'd be djing that night...so mayhaps i'll stop by and have a beer or two and ch-check it out. some days are better than others. i slept wonderfully last night and was only two minutes late today. and flo is leaving town...22-25 more glorious days of freedom. tmi time y'alls. and i just got paid....man, money really does the trick of pepping me up. knowing i'm not broke for a few weeks...what a relief. time to buy plane tickets y'all.

MOTHER TRUCKIN TRUCKS AND STUFF

So things are picking up slightly today. We got a fab job to work on...yay, and i've spent a bit of time looking for an old file. Of course i didn't find it because the person who worked here before me didn't believe in being organized. Filing for that person meant stuffing papers into boxes. I know i should organize it all but just thinking of that task makes me not want to do it. I need to break it up into smaller parts. Hi, i'm rachel, welcome to my world. It's full of papers. super annoying. anywhozle...don't know what i'm doing for lunch today. I'd like to just get some subway and chill at the park. I should go walking because i pretty much stopped doing that but i really just want an Italian BMT....mmmm...salami. Maybe i shouldn't be about subway salami but i'll take it where i can get it....

speaking of getting it. i'm going to go crazy from sexual frustration. sometimes i just want to rape the new guy but i can't. i dont' think he'd go for it cuz then he'd want to be in a relationship and i don't want to. it may seem shallow but i'm not attracted to him. i kinda wish i was cuz he's a good person, but i aint.

man this Jitterbug Perfume book is really good. I think i'll try to read all of Tom Robbins now. This is my second book about aromatics...the first being Perfume by Patrick Suskind. i love smelling. it is the best. certain smells can be like time machines...they'll take you back, but you can't change anything. bus pollutants remind me of Guadalajara. Certain detergents remind me of hand washing clothes in mexico...posole or menudo reminds me of mexico. old books...well old things in general remind me of my old old neighbors and all of their knick-knacks. how fun...scent memories.

anywho, time to get back to work...now that i have it.

peace out suckers...(i'm the only sucker)

ps. i just remembered this but yes, yesterday on my way back to work, i happened to make a left turn onto Coal, and who do i happen to be driving behind? If you guessed Reggae-Man you are correct. That's like the 4th or 5th time seeing him. On the 10th time i should stop him and tell him to collect his free sandwich..or something like that.

Feelings nothing more than feelings

so this roller coaster ride that is my period is wreacking havoc yet again. this morning was crazy. i was late to work. i wanted to kill all the drivers on the road and other things as well but hey at least i don't have killer cramps.

at least it's wednesday. two more days then the weekend. life does fly by fast. i have to work on all these things like finishing some drawings and fatty's b-day card.

i have to book my flight for the wedding in september. i still dont' know how many days i want to take off but for sure i should take a few off so that i can visit both dario and joseph. i can't wait to be back in california. the beach, the food, the people...the craziness. life goes on. i played my small role in california.

work seems to be picking up just a bit but we still need a fab job. anywhozle...the end. i ate some cantaloupe that may be making my stomach feel funny. it could be smelling this bath and body works lotion. i don't really like their stuff. it's all scent. i need to tell my sister to never buy me lotions again unless it's like gold bond or burt's bees.

argh

my eyes burn, i have cramps and my hair is a mess. three day weekend was not long enough. yesterday i was riding high on my painkillers...it was sooo nice. took naps. couldn't sleep too well. kept waking up swearing i heard things. had to make sure doors were locked. woke up at 4am...fucking cramps.

i want to nap....

Is there a (dick) Doctor in the house?

harh harh harh...
notice the deep breathing at the end.

My Little Peppola!

her future as a dog-model is uncertain. she looks terrified. she shuts down when anything is put around her neck.


check out that cute dog sporting an awesome necklace.