JUST ANOTHER PODUNK TOWN 09262008

i moved to albuquerque 1 year and 27 daysago. it was a hesitant move but a move nonetheless, more fueled by fear of survival than by true desire. i spent the first few months in a whirlwind of inactivity. it was spent getting used to the idea, if you will, the idea that was now fact. i lived in albuquerque and had definitely left los angeles. although i am not a lifetime angeleno, being there 6.5 years was enough time for me to become a born again one. i bled l.a. well, perhaps it was mostly mental, but there was blood, not always mine. yes, this is what i mean by being a part of the city. living next to a crackhouse...slowly cracking their talk. hearing them mumble, sometimes not so quietly between the hours of one am and five am...and eventually seeing them bleed. they've been shot at, my neighbors, and by default, i experienced this twice. hell, once we almost ran over a dead body. i blame it on the po-po for not taping off the road. so, where was i? oh yes, it was a difficult move considering my love affair with los angeles. i enjoyed the options open to me, for i didn't go out everyday, but i knew i could, if i so desired. here in albuquerque i live in the fuckin' boondocks...or rather all the way in timbuktu. my city is divided into four quadrants. i live in the sw quadrant, in what i believe is the most sw corner of the city...in housing developments. yes they're nice and all, but annoying as hell. yesterday i received a letter from the homeowner's association. it stated that as a part of living in a community i reaped the benefits of a nice community blahblah balh and that on their inspection they saw that my front yard has weeds growing, therefore i must fix this situation before i get fined. fuck you h.o.a. maybe less patroling the neighborhood trying to find ways to make more money and more minding of your own business. so now like a little bitch i have to do it. my mom's out of town and she would not like to be fined. you see the thing is i have no problem with doing this, pulling of weeds. my prob is that i've gone into hermit mode and i really don't want to do things in my front yard for fear that my neighbors will see me. don't get me wrong, i love my neighbors, but the thing is i volunteered once to do obama campaign work, then i didn't do anything after that. obama girl has called me on several occasions and i didn't answer. that is how i deal with things. so now i have to be all up in the front yard, full visibility, and deal with my shame of being a flakey-mc-flaken flake in the eyes of my neighbors. i don't think they'd judge, it's more of me judging myself than anything. to illustrate further my method of dealing with things, i shall tell the story of my bathroom. four days ago as i was getting ready for work, i'm sitting on the pot, and i happen to look into the tub, and what do i see? a centipede thingy...this one has 20 legs on each side...i should google that shit. anywhozers, this creature is still there. i don't want to touch it, i don't want to kill it. i just want it to go away. two days ago as i was in line to get food somewhere. there was a little boy and his father in front of me, and what did this boy have in his hands? a toy centipede. is this a sign from the universe? am i missing out on the message? i don't know.