beginning of poop research

i love it so much that i really need to get on the ball and learn all there is to know about it.

what a man, what a man, what a man, what a might good man

well, i don't really know if he's really that good, but boy did the memory of coffee-shop-guy come in handy today while i was at the dentist. i went in for my fifth root canal and this one turned out to be the worst so far. the root canal wasn't finished today. my tooth was opened, cleaned for about an hour, then left with medicine in there to see if the bump/swelling in my gums goes down. but yes, i was thinking about him while laying in that chair fighting to hold back tears. you can't really cry too well anyways when you have a dental dam all up in your grill.

i've been thinking about him lately, hoping that he's still there when i return to albuquerque. if he's gone...well i don't want to think about that. i need to start thinking about my life. being here in mexico is like being paused. it's almost the same thing everyday and i haven't thought about my future. i need a job. what kind? don't know. i should go back to school. i should do many things. i should make friends. the end. first thing upon returning will be to go see coffee-shop-guy.

the way i play it out in mind goes something like this: (may use for future script)
dude:heeeeyyyy...i haven't seen you in a couple of months. where have you been?
me: i went to mexico. after i got laid off i figured i go down and fix my teeth and visit family. it was nice...how have you been?
dude: i've been good but i missed seeing you around.
me: (blushing) really. i've missed you too. when is your break?
dude: in about twenty. can you stick around?
me: i always do..


and bada bing bada boom...there it is. it can go many places after that but preferable it would lead to hanging out or even better making out and holding hands and all that lovey dovey shit.

the end.

i know i am delusional.

i feel like a peeping tom

this is my cousin's tongue...how lovely



yes i'm looking at you


i'm video chatting with one of my cousins and her brothers happen to be there as well. they are playing rock band and all i can do is watch. i wish i was there. i miss them. my aunt probably misses them more than i do though. she is their mother after all.

i wish these blasted teeth would be fixed magically so i could travel already. but it's okay. i do plan on staying here until the end of october so hopefully that'll give me time to party it up in another state...

anywho...i really want to smoke a joint. i have to wait until around twelve though...maybe one am when the streets are relatively empty so i can do it outside. of course granny will probably never go to fucking sleep. how could she.

the end.

i miss my friends

things are looking up

my mom finally understands that i'm going to stay in mexico a very long time. so long that when i return i must immediately look for a job. i'm feeling like making things, which is a good thing because i should do something. yes, i was sad when my cousin left but i'm getting over it. there's no point in saying no to something that has to be. i'm glad for him. i used to be young like him once. i remember how much fun it was. really...good for him. i just hope that when i visit in sept or october that he'll still hang out with me. i'm not really considered cool. he on the other hand is part of a hipster friends group. everyone is skinny and super fashionable and they party party party. i used to party, but it was more general partying...or rather partying without identifications. we were just those crazy girls that got crunk and danced up a storm and hit on dudes and what not. good thing i'm seeing my friends sept 1st...holler. i can't wait. the end. time to go wash clothes...work never ends. today i'm going to go buy some water colors to keep painting. the end...for realz.

sonic boom + spaceman 3

peter kember

found him today on the internets....

new crush?

omegle saved me

this one goes out to omegle.com because without them i would be bored.

Stranger: hey
You: hello
Stranger: hey
You: hi
You: what did you eat today?
Stranger: crap
You: sounds good
Stranger: yup
Stranger: u?
You: homemade flour tortillas, eggs and ham, sliced tomato, and mexican cheese
You: and very cold chocolate milk
Stranger: sounds aweful :(
You: yeah it was pretty good
Stranger: hahahaha
Stranger: awful*
You: so what's your name?
Stranger: im ashley :)
You: i'm emelie
Stranger: hello emelie
You: im 12 years old
Stranger: cool
You: how old are u?
Stranger: 16
You: wow...you're old
Stranger: yea ur young
Stranger: when im 20
Stranger: ur 16

i smoked in the restroom...twice today. i'm razzle-dazzled right now...i'll probs go in the room to sleep.

the end.

i need more water, asap

i've got a case of the sads

so my cousin left today to live in another state. i feel alone now. i have to stay here another month to get my teeth fixed and i just wish he was here. i walked to the place that we go to razzle-dazzle and i had to hold back the tears. this morning he was here and now he's gone. poof...gone.

i need to pep the fuck up but i feel so blah. he's probs hanging out with his friends right now. times like these make me miss my friends, but i will see them soon at the wedding. 10 days in cali should do me good.

need to buy:
5 tubes of toothpaste..the good shit
1 mens deodarant
1 tube of fixodent
and whatever else i see that's cool maybe some more art things for my cousin...maybe some shoes if i see a good deal. the end. i need to shower then probably go to sleep. no reason to stay up later.

my poor cousin

is throwing up right now and my aunt is consolling-helping him right now. i kind of feel guilty cuz' i was there today as shit went down. to be honest i thought he'd last longer. i still like him though.