so i realized that i no longer smile as much as i used to. i want to feel sad about this. i should just smile instead.

mmm...what a dream

there's a gorgeous man in my room changing. he's completely butt naked. i tell him, "don't worry. i can't see your dick, i'm only checking out your ass. hurry up before i do something to you." so he gets some pants on, still shirtless and he turns to me. he still hasn't zipped up so i check out his crotch. huge bulge. then he tells me he wishes i would do something. so i do. we make out for a bit. not the best kissing but whatev. have i mentioned he had beatiful curly hair.
so we're going to a party. he's ready now i just have to finish getting ready. i choose a dress that he can look down with facility. what else happens. i take too long getting ready. i can't find my keys. i take another set. forget to close the inner wooden door and i can't unlock the metal door to close it. we leave. we go to this party where the old latino crew is at. i have mixed feelings about this. i see fatima and for some reason i'm being bitchy. she was super excited to see me and i was just blaze. that made her mad. it may be because we never talk anymore.....anywhozle. i forget what happens next but i remember that i'm about to get it on with this hot guy when....i wake up. why? because granny decides to start filing her fucking nails. it's 7 am granny. i may just be having a sex dream. arghhh...so frustrating. oh wells. i started my period. may be why i'm so fucking horny. the end.

lazy sunday

i wish i could fast forward time. i say this because then my tooth will have healed and i could smoke a cig. the first time i quit smoking i did it when i got another tooth taken out. the thought of not smoking depresses me. i went through this the first time as well. i know i can quit and it's for the best but i don't want to. like i said i'd like to fast forward to when i can smoke. i need to buy razzle dazzle. a beer would be nice as well. damn you anitibiotics.

anywho, i made pancakes today. they're really good. they have bananas, walnuts and raisins. i accompanied them with eggs and bacon.

today at 6:30pm will be the three day mark, for the teeth. two more days and i can smoke. damn you dry socket threat.

i took a really nice crap today. the end.

so stoked

so i've had this song in my head for years and today i've tracked it down.

Onomatopoeia by Fishboy on their record Zipbangboom...

go me...go google.

i love my mom

we just finished talking for an hour. i told her to come visit me in mexico already. that got a good laugh. i wish i could go visit her/go home already. i do miss new mexico. i wish my teeth were fixed already. it may just be that i'm alone with granny in the house right now. my aunt left to visit her daughter for a week. my uncle and cousin are working. i just got a tooth extracted so i can't smoke, i can't drink....i may go crazy. damn mosquitos keep biting me. my cousin had a mosquito bite her and now she has the dengue or something like that. i have no clue what's going on over here. okay...time to eat breakfast. i wish i could blast my jams but of course this old lady is praying for the umpteenth time, in the living room. i bet if i go to the room, she'll find her way over there. i'll just have to take that chance.

blargh

i'm back in mexico now and i feel different. i feel a little impatient. i miss people. i want to have fun. i wish my teeth were finished. i think i'm attracted to assholes. i miss certain people more than others.

i feel like i don't know what's going on in my life. once i get back to albuquerque i have to do things like find a job and be responsible.

many adventures were had in cali. good times over all. i like the silverlake area. if only i could move there and not be broke. better yet if i wasn't so cowardly i'd take risks. me meememmemememememe i bore myself sometimes.

i may go to guanajuato for september 15th. debating putting off taking the antibiotics until the 16th. momma needs her beer, especially if it's a party day.

memorable quote from trip: "shut the fuck up bitch"
harsh, yes
alcohol induced, yes
feel sorry about it, no

a few more hours

just a few more hours until i fly to los angeles. i have to be at the airport at 4am. it is now almost 9pm. that leaves me with 7 hours. i don't have a suitcase yet. all my shit is laid out on the bed, waiting. the end. time to eat some sweet bread. i really wanna razzle but it'll have to wait until later when all the kiddies go to sleep.

one mo time

so i'm counting down the days until i get to be "going going back to back to cali cali." the only thing is that "if i had to choose a coast, i got to choose the" WEST, i used to live out there, so don't go there. okay i'm done with notorious. it's all about westside connection anyways.

i had another strange dream. i remember that i saw this one dude i met on okcupid. we hung out more than once and i liked him, but he dropped me like i was not hot. ha. anywho, back to the dream. for some reason i see him and decide to approach. i think i had nowhere to go. something may have happened to where i was supposed to be. something like total annhialation. so i go up to him to say hello. he is wearing a white a thin shite t-shirt. i see that he has a huge tattoo of a knight, as in the chess piece. it's on the front of his body and on the back. we start chit-chatting. for some reason i'm standing behind him and i decide to scratch his back. he flinches hardcore because i scratched his tattoo. it was a big area of all black. i'm not sure what happened then. weird.

i need to get my period already. come on...please. i've been bitching for a while now and it's late already. please just get here so i don't have to worry about it while i'm in l.a. fucking timing. that concludes my period rant.

i'm totes making leah and balls this awesome embroidery thingy. i should get back to work on it. it takes forrrreeeeevooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrr.

jw