ARGH

sometimes i really really dislike my brother. sometimes i just want to beat him. he makes himself a completely useless person when it comes to his children. he can play the stupid-ass motherfucking xbox, but he can't watch his daughter for like 40 minutes so that i can go for a walk w/his wife. i don't like going over there. i feel bad for my sister-in-law....i feel bad for all of them. i can't wait for those kids to grow up so they can leave that place. it just seems like such a waste. hi, hello, you're just like our father. SPEND TIME WITH YOUR CHILDREN. i really don't think it's a good thing to blast the volume on the tv when your playing shooting video games...these are baby ears. we are adults. they will be deaf. it's just so sad and i want to avoid it like the plague. i don't think i can ever be close with my brother for these reasons. the end.

the males in my family ruin it for me. they make me not want to get married. ever. fuck that and fuck you...you push children out of your body then let me ignore you while you do all the work.

i'm working on these isses in therapy. what should happen is that i shouldn't be bothered by it because it's their family, their choices, everyone chooses what they want to do and put up with...so que sera sera. i just can't ever go over there.