friday

so friday night was a blast, with consequences but a blast nonetheless. after work i go for a walk by the river trails then head home to hang out with the peeps for a bit. i end up going to chad's place around 10:10pm. he is cleaning his place, walking around in his garras. anywho, i'm ready to go out downtown and live it up, but that aint happening cuz he says he's broke. so i say, lets go anyways, i'll pay. instead we opt for going out to buy beer and just chilling. he calls Homeboy to meet up with us. when we're on our way to get the beer, Homeboy joins us. we get stuff, which chad refuses to let me pay for, then head back. we begin to take shots of rum with beer. i think we had three before we decide to climb the sand hill next to his apt. thank goodness i was drunk because that was hard work. i got up there last but i made it. we're up there sitting in lawn chairs just talking. we end up talking about sex because it started as truth or dare. i'm not doing any dares, umkay, i'm not moving out of that chair. whatevs...time passes, we're sharing info. chad is sitting in the middle. earlier in the night Homeboy winked at me..i don't know what that meant, but whatev. he later slapped my ass...i'm still okay with this. after we get off the hill we go back to chad's. Homeboy wants to leave with me. i want to leave with him as well. i tell him i'd give him a ride home so we leave. this is where things get complicated. i didn't see my phone, but chad had texted me to come back to his place after dropping homeboy off. of course i couldn't do that because i didnt' go to drop him off.
we drove around all night. we pulled over somewhere and had some fun...it was just so nice, talking to him, holding his hand...being with him. we had breakfast together which was nice as well then we went to the swap meet. i then dropped him off and got home at 10am. i slept until 3:30pm. i later get a text from chad, "what happened last night? did u and Homeboy hook up?" what am i supposed to say to this..i was freaking out a bit. i didn't tell him anything and i guess neither did Homeboy because 30 minutes later i get this text, "wow. none of you have responded. NICE." okay, so you know now, right dude?

Homeboy texts me saturday evening to ask if i wanted to blaze. i say sure. i figure i can leave the house because my mom is not home. so i meet up with him at a friends house and we have a drink and smoke. we leave shortly after. what to do now? it's around 9:00pm and homeboy wants to walk to chad's. the walk there was the longest ever. it was sort of like 1 step forward 2 steps backward. the walk over there was pretty insane. this is where i was wondering about corazon...wondering what is up with him. was he acting all the way over there. basically he's pretty out there and his energy dwarfs mine. we finally make it there and do nothing. i feel like i'm giving out some weird awkward vibes because supposedly Homeboy told chad that nothing happened with us. so yes, we're sitting in the chairs and chad's at his desk. Homeboy looks at me and starts making lewd gestures, sort of seeing if i want to leave with him...i say sure, i'd love to. so corazon then goes into his 'act' of being so drunk he needs to go home. chad eventually gives us a ride back to my car and Homeboy and i end up going downtown. we get dinner and walk around. i learn more about Homeboy. things i wish i could change. i wish i could do things for him but i can't. so now i'm wondering if i like like him. i mean i love being with him...just walking around holding his hand. but anywho, now we're here. chad is mad. he feels betrayed and so much more. i still haven't talked to him. he says he was cockblocked but he really wasn't. the thing is if i'm hanging out with you and we're drinking, yes i may touch your shoulder and lean on you, or something, but this does not mean i want to fuck you. i already told that fool i just wanted to be his friend. in conclusion don't hook up with friends of friends, if you can help it.

i need to call chad and see what's up.

i can't stop thinking about Homeboy. I'm hoping that my regular dose of coffee-shop-guy will help.